Diary of a journaling girl #4

I started this blog back in the summer and had so many great ideas and plans. But sometimes life just gets in the way! I spend a couple of months in bed after my accident and now I am cooped up in the rehabilitation center I have been going to. And it has been tough! Whenever people ask me how I am doing I reply with “honestly, I am not doing great”. I am doing with pretending to be fine when I am not, it is time people start answering that question honestly! So I explain to people what I have been up to and how hard it is, and I have been having some great conversations with people because of it. Because when you open up, you make room for the other person to open up as well. That doesn’t always happen, which is fine, but when it does you really connect with the other person.

I go to the rehabilitation center twice a week, for a couple of hours a time. Which doesn’t sound like a whole lot but it takes up all my time and energy at home. There is so much to learn, process, try out and think about. After most appointments I crash and spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch. I have been having extreme headaches, chest pains, am extremely tired and suffer from memory loss. Who knew those were side effects from a chronic pain disorder?! But apparently it is common and I just have to sit it out and listen to my body. Which I suck at, or so I’ve been told. So besides occupational therapy, physical therapy, and talking to a psychologist I also signed up for heart coherence training which should help me listen to my body in a better way.  I had a bit of an incident two weeks ago with an intern which really threw me off, but I am really proud to say I stood up for myself and told my therapists how I felt about it and why I reacted to strongly. Today I had a good talk about it and apologies were made. I am not very good at standing up for myself so this was a big deal for me. I now feel like I can truly focus on working on myself again, which is a good thing.

So my life is on hold, or so it feels like. I do not have a lot of time to spend with my friends, work on hobbies (like my blog), clean my house or walk my dogs. I do however watch a lot of shows and movies on Netflix, sleep a ton, burn too many candles, eat chocolate and stare at my craft room.  I have also been decluttering again, even though there was not a lot to get rid of this time around. I have been decluttering for 2 years now and have really downsized my belongings. I will never be able to call myself a minimalist but I am fine with that, I like stuff. I just want it all to be used and loved, everything else can go. Or as my boyfriend like to do, move it all to the attic. He has next week off work and I am forcing him to clean up the attic with me and get rid of a lot of stuff he has been holding on to for years without use.

I am hoping to have more time for my blog and other hobbies soon, after the crappy 2017 I have had I am determined to make 2018 the best year ever! And this blog is part of that plan, so keep an eye out for a lot more content! But right now I am going to take a shower and go to bed, it is only 7.30 but I am exhausted and just need to sleep.



  
	  		
Love, Emma

One comment

  1. Tsjonge, heftig weer!! Ik wens je heel veel sterkte en beterschap en hoop dat je in de toekomst beter naar jezelf kunt luisteren en voor jezelf kunt opkomen. Mag ik ook nog beter leren. Maar we komen er wel… 😉

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